Nehemiah's Birth Story (Part 1)

I decided to make time to write Nehemiah's birth story now because I don't want to forget all the little details. It took me a year to write Noah's so I'd say 3 weeks is pretty good this time around!

Where to begin... I guess from the beginning! (I am long winded, so brace yourself!)

I remember waking up two mornings in a row, still half asleep, knowing that I was pregnant. It was the weirdest feeling. The even weirder thing was, by the time I woke up enough and made it to the bathroom, I forgot about the feeling, almost as if it were a dream, and didn't take a pregnancy test. The second day that I had that feeling, I did not remember until later that night and decided to go ahead and take a test. It was one of the most unconventional times, as it was 9:30 pm and my parents were 30 minutes away from our house, coming to visit for the weekend.  I guess I did not really think that it would be positive, as I usually took one once a month or every other month, just to avoid surprises, and they were always negative. Well, not this one... It was very much positive.

I remember when I was pregnant with Noah, I had a whole plan of how I was going to announce it to Daniel. I got this cute "I Love you Daddy" book and recorded the whole thing. This time around, he was in the spare bathroom cleaning out the bathtub of toddler toys and I walked in with a deer in the headlights look and said,"You're not going to believe this..." Then proceeded to hand him the test. His response was, "What does this mean?" 😑 We obviously were over the moon once we got over the shock, but only had a few moments to process it all before my parents came. We wanted to wait to tell them because it was so early and we wanted to be able to tell all of our family, in person, around the same time.

I am blessed to say that I had an overall pretty easy pregnancy. Minimal morning sickness, but lots of food aversions in the first trimester. I would say that my first trimester may have been the hardest, but it was mostly all mental and emotional. I cannot fully explain the feeling, but just that I was messed up emotionally for a few weeks. I had no energy, which made me feel almost depressed and down on myself. I remember it taking everything in me just to walk up the stairs. If you know me, you know that I'm a busy body who loves to be doing something, all the time. So to have the feeling of not being motivated was depressing. Luckily after week 13, I moved on from that and started feeling pretty great.

Daniel and I actually found out the gender a few weeks before our anatomy ultrasound but kept it our little secret until Christmas when all the family was together. Then we announced it with blue silly string and a big balloon filled with confetti in my parent's backyard.

Val and I announced that we were BOTH expecting at Thanksgiving!

If you know Noah's birth story, you know that I had to have a C-section because he was frank breech and we were unable to get him to flip. The doctor told me that I had a membrane in my uterus that made it almost a heart shape and said that I had a high chance of all my future babies being breech as well. At our 20 week ultrasound, sure enough, he was breech. Since I knew the chances of this were so high, it did not really come as a disappointment, I was mentally prepared to have another cesarean and was okay with that. I actually preferred it at that point.

Fast forwarding to 32ish weeks, I went to the doctor for a routine checkup and to talk about/sign consents for the delivery.  In my mind, I thought that a c-section was really the only option, but she told me that he still could flip and I was a great candidate for a TOLAC (trial of labor after cesarean). I cannot praise my doctor enough for how great she was about presenting my options, letting me decide what I wanted to do, and then fully supporting me. I have learned that that is not always the case. I pretty much told her that I did not think he would flip and did not want to get my hopes up so I wanted to schedule a c-section, but would sign the TOLAC consents also just in case I went into labor earlier. After me swearing that he was still breech and her feeling and thinking that he was not, she decided to do a quick ultrasound to see who was right. Well, sure enough, he had flipped and was NOT breech. A big part of me was so excited, but another big part of me was not. With Noah, I was devastated that I wasn't going to be able to labor and deliver him myself, and God took me through this whole journey of dealing with pride and that my plans were not always His plans. Well, this time around I was upset because I had not mentally prepared myself to labor and deliver, and all along was happy with the idea of having a c-section. It was familiar, I knew the process, and I could plan. I told my doctor that I would still like to have the surgery date set and would think about all my options and talk to my husband about it. I really wanted her to just tell me which way was the better option, but of course, she did not.

I went home to talk about everything with Daniel, secretly hoping that he would tell me the better option, but he too just wanted to support whatever I decided to do. Why was I battling this so much? Why was it such a hard decision for me to make? I couldn't stop thinking about the risks of laboring after a previous c-section. The thought of me laboring and losing my baby or something happening to me that could have been totally prevented if I had just done the surgery. The horror stories of traumatic labor and post-delivery recovery that I had heard from people that I knew. The thought of, if I go into labor, who will watch Noah? I had a list of people, but what if no one was available when the time actually came. Scheduling a c-section would be so convenient. I already had the date set and all of our family had made plans to be here.

I decided to call a sweet friend of mine, who I respect and trust so much, who had multiple previous c-sections and naturally delivered her last one. After I had Noah, I remember her talking to me about VBACing with my next, but not really giving it much thought after that. She listened to me and all my concerns and fears and helped me talk through it all. She shared her experience, encouraged me, prayed for me, and said she would support me regardless of my decision.

I knew it was my decision, but I just did not want to make the wrong one. I thought and prayed a lot about it and knew that God was once again taking me on a journey of giving up control, but also giving me the opportunity to do what my heart had so deeply wanted before having Noah. I had no pride about laboring and delivering this time around; in fact, I had fear and uncertainty. The next morning I felt a peace about the whole thing and knew that I needed to cancel the c-section date. God had created my body to deliver babies and there was no medical reason why I should not be able to. I knew it was more about the fear and lack of control that I was clinging to. I felt bad calling my family and telling them that I had canceled the date because many of them had already asked off of work and made arrangements to be here, but I knew that they understood and fully supported my decision.

To be continued...

Bumpdate Pictures!

19 weeks

20 weeks

24 weeks

26 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks

32 weeks

Me-33 weeks Val-27 weeks

34 weeks

35 weeks

35 weeks

37 weeks

38 weeks

 

39 weeks and last picture as a family of 3!

February Life Update

Yes, I realize that I am behind on posting this, but better late than never, right?

I am finding that no matter how many activities we try to come up with at home, our little 2-year-old still gets cabin fever so February was filled with lots of zoo trips and park outings since the weather was so nice!

We also took the plunge and bought a minivan. Let me tell you, the amount of "cool points" that we lots for getting a minivan were worth it. I don't know that I'll ever go back to an SUV. The automatic sliding side doors, automatic hatchback, all the seats fold into the ground, TONS of cargo space in the back, excellent gas mileage, ahh I could go on and on!

Meet Velma, our 2016 Dodge Caravan

My life was basically filled with growing a baby, going to school online, and working my little side business.

26-week Bumpdate

28-week Bumpdate


I have kind of moved away from crocheting because I have found that I enjoying sewing more. Here are a few of my creations. You can also check out my Love Knots Designs Etsy or Facebook pages for more listings.  I have been overwhelmed with joy from all of the support and orders that I have received. The extra income has been a huge blessing to my family as we are preparing for me to take a pause on working as a nurse part-time and focus on adjusting to having two littles running around.


  


  


  
  


Daniel has been focusing on his research, as he knows that when the baby comes, he will have to take some time off, so he is getting as much as can get done now.  

I'm working on my March and April updates, as they were filled with even more craziness. 

~Jess

DIY Liquid Laundry Detergent

Well the day has finally come that I am taking the time to post my recipe for DIY liquid laundry detergent. I actually did not have much of a choice when I found out this morning that the blog that I used to reference is no longer available. I have been making this recipe for years now and rarely have to rebuy the ingredients because they come in such large amounts. To get started, it cost me under $15. All of the ingredients can be found at Walmart. So.... Here it is!!

I typically make mine in 3-gallon batches, but you can half or even third the recipe to make less.

This IS safe for HE washing machines.

**The beautiful thing about this recipe is it is super forgiving and you can make a ton of modifications along the way to fit your situation.   --> ** <--- indicate modifications.


What you need:
- 1/2 cup of 20 Mule Team Borax
- 1/2 cup of Washing Soda
- 1/3 bar of Fels-Naptha Soap (or any low sud-producing soap, but this soap smells AMAZING)
- 3 gallons worth of containers (I use old laundry detergent containers. I've also seen old plastic milk or orange juice containers)
- 3 gallons of water
- Pitcher
- Large spoon
- 3-5 gallon pot
**if you do not have one, I used a 1-gallon pot I had until I finally bought a bigger one
- Cheese grater

Step 1: If you have a 3-5 gallon pot, add 1 gallon of water and turn it on medium heat. 

**If you are using a 1-gallon pot, add 1/2 gallon water.

Step 2: Grate 1/3 of the bar of Fels-Naptha soap and pour it into the pot of hot water, stirring occasionally until all the soap is completely melted. The water will start to thicken and become cloudy. 

36-week baby bump making its appearance ;)

Step 3: Pour in 1/2 cup of borax and 1/2 cup of washing soda into the pot of water. Also, add 1 gallon of water. Continue to stir the mixture and allow all of the ingredients to dissolve.

If the mixture begins to boil, continue adding your third gallon of water and slightly reduce the heat.

**If you are only using a 1-gallon pot, do not add any additional water for this step, just reduce the heat.

Step 4: When the mixture is completely dissolved, allow to cool slightly. Use your pitcher to scoop the mixture out of the pot and then pour it into your containers. (If you have a better pouring method, by all means, use it, but this is the easiest way I have found to transfer the detergent.)

** If you are using a 1-gallon pot, evenly distribute the detergent mixture into your containers and then add warm/hot water to the containers until they are full. Shake the detergent and it will settle just as if you were cooking it all together.

The detergent will start to thicken as it cools. Do not use until it has completely set. 

**If the detergent is too thick, you may have to shake it before each use. If it is still too thick, then add a cup of water at a time and shake until you are happy with the consistency.  

My little "helper"

Let me know if you have any questions or additional suggestions. I'd also love to know if you tried it and how it turned out for you!!

Enjoy!

~Jess

January Update!

This year I decided to make a commitment to myself to document life more often. I have been terrible at blogging the past few years, and think it is important to document memories to be able to look back on later. I often scroll through the pictures on my phone and cannot remember the details of many of them. I have forgotten the timeline of milestones that Noah has been through, and it just makes me sad. So, this year I am going to (attempt to) document our life weekly/biweekly and maybe throw in a few random blogs about things I find interesting/ am passionate about (like my DIY laundry detergent, I know I’ve been saying I would share it for forever now!). Feel free to keep up with our shenanigans, or not… Here goes nothing!

January has been an incredibly busy and tiring month for us. We started the year with a house full of cooties. We had all just gotten over upper respiratory infections from December and then had another wave of colds come through. I’m praying that we have paid our dues and everyone stays healthy for the rest of the year. We also started having car issues and got some pretty crummy news that our transmission went out and needed to be rebuilt. Double bummer!! I have been trying not to let this month be a precursor for what our year will look like. I just keep telling myself that all the bad stuff is behind us for the year, and we are only going to go up from here.

Noah has been growing and learning so so much these past few months and really in the past month has expanded his vocabulary a ton. I am constantly in awe by how much he understands and picks up from what we say. He has the cutest personality that continues to blossom, and I can tell already that his heart is so compassionate toward others. He will do anything to make us laugh (even when he’s getting in trouble), but also knows when we are not feeling well and will give extra snuggles and love. He can be stubborn, which has been hard for me because I know he completely gets that from me, so I’m trying to show grace, but also make sure he knows it is not always okay. He loves to be outside! When he wakes up, he wants to go outside to play; he does not care what the weather is like or what time of day it is, he just loves the outdoors. It is nice that he is gaining independence and can go out and play while I watch from the kitchen window. He can climb like a maniac too! We are planning to build a rock wall in his soon-to-be toddler room, above the bed, so he can climb whenever he wants. I’m pretty excited about it! I could go on and on about how awesome this kid is. I just love him so much and have enjoyed each stage of development. Although, I think this one is my favorite so far. It is so nice that he can throw his trash away now, get things out of the pantry, and clean up his toys. Also, I am proud to report that he is most definitely a lefty! I’m pretty excited about that (and so are a few other fellow lefty family members of mine).

Noah's 2 Year Dino Birthday Party

The only upside of sickness is all the snuggles

Just a day in the life of Noah

He literally wears his hat EVERYWHERE!

Nehemiah is doing great too! (The more I say his name, the more I love it!) I can’t tell if he is more active than Noah was, or just that I feel it more because I have more time to notice it than when I was pregnant with Noah. I definitely started feeling him move sooner than I did with Noah. He is 24 weeks now and all is well. I cannot wait to see my two boys grow up together. Before finding out that he was a boy, I actually really wanted a girl; partially because I wanted all the cute bows and clothes, but mostly because we were set on a girl name. I was stressing about not having a boy name. I had spent hours looking for a boy name and decided that we were just going to have to have a girl because I did not like any boy names. I was actually talking on the phone with one of my best friends, and she was listing off names and said “Nehemiah.” And the more I thought about it, the more I loved it. I just needed to convince Daniel that it was a good name. He wanted Daniel Jr., but I wasn’t going for it. So I compromised and told him we could use Daniel as a middle name (hoping that would seal the deal).  After I had convinced him about Nehemiah, he said he didn’t like Nehemiah Daniel, so together we decided Cole was a fitting middle name. Neither are family names, but I do love the person that Nehemiah was in the Bible and the meaning “comforted by Yahweh.”  We also really like that it is not a super common name.

Nehemiah Cole Gonzales
20 weeks

Daniel is still working on his Ph.D. at Rice and continues to enjoy his research. I still only understand about half of what he studies, but I’m mostly glad that he is happy and likes it. He stays home with Noah when I work, and I love seeing the bond that he and Noah have. It kinda makes me jealous sometimes because Noah constantly asks for “Da-Da? Da-Da?” when he is not home, but I am so thankful that Noah has a Daddy who is such a great example for him to look up to.  They have lots of fun together. Noah knows that he can be rough with his Daddy and is more of a snuggler with me. I’m 100% okay with that.  

(I realized that I don't have any pictures of Daniel. I'll do better next month.)

I started my next class for my RN and am so excited to be that much closer to finishing!! 4 classes left, then I’ll play the waiting game to get a date for my clinical practical exam weekend. Pregnancy wise I am feeling great! I feel like this pregnancy is flying by and we are nowhere near ready for our new addition! Since our savings took a big hit from repairing the transmission, I have decided to try to work as much as possible before Nehemiah gets here to rebuild our savings and maybe (fingers crossed) get a new car that fits our family of four. I have been spending a ton of time cleaning our house and getting rid of unnecessary junk. Maybe early nesting?? Regardless, it feels good to have a clean, clutter-free house. I have plans, in all my free time, to try to make a quilt for Noah’s toddler bed and make a few things for Nehemiah too. We’ll see if it actually happens.

24 weeks
Weight gain: 9 lbs
Wearing 50/50 maternity/normal clothes
Feeling tons of kicks, inside and out
Cravings: Olive Garden salad dressing and milkshakes/soft serve ice cream

So that’s pretty much our life, in a nutshell, this month. We are all in a good place and are looking forward to what this year has in store! This post turned out to be a much longer blog than I had anticipated… oh well!